Keep Holding On
by CassidysPersona
Summary: As the news hit Zosia she collpapsed to the floor, her knees like jelly. The one person she at least expected to catch her was Jac Naylor, but as the shift comes to an end where will she go? Jac Naylor's softer side comes out and it becomes obvious Zosia's not just another Junior Doctor.


**A/N: After Holby walk lead me to think of this, only when I woke up I found PerpetualPathology had wrote some like this, but so much better so I'm not sure how this is haha. So basically this might seem a little Jac OOC but I felt like exploring Jac's softer side.**

Zosia sobbed on the consultant she had spent the whole day arguing with, this was it, he was gone. No longer would she see his geeky outfits, his glasses sliding up and down his nose, she wouldn't hear his Napoleon rambles and she would never see him in the flat again. This was the similar reaction she had when Guy broke the news that her mother had died, Colette had been the one to catch her that day and this time it was Jac Naylor - the woman who normally showed no empathy or sympathy. Zosia was clutching onto Jac's soft straight hair, "He's gone," she managed to squeak out through tears and Jac tightened her grip on Zosia, "I wasn't there," Zosia coughed in between talking and Jac pulled away, she cupped her hands around Zosia's face, like she was Emma when she hurt herself, Jac felt tears drip onto her hands and she wiped away tears with her thumbs, "I wasn't there when he needed me," Zosia lowered her head down and allowed more tears to flow, "He was there for me when I was...why wasn't I there?"

"Zosia," Jac removed her hands from Zosia's face, and wiped them on her scrub trousers, both doctors sat on their hands and knees and Jac waited until Zosia had dried her eyes, "You were there, maybe not physically but he knew you cared," Jac stood up and leant against the desk.

"How could he?" Zosia pushed herself up, stumbling slightly but she was caught by Jac had good reflexes, "I barely spoke to him these past few months," Zosia finally realised who she had cried on and who she was pouring her heart out to, she laughed trying to forget about this but it didn't work, "Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"Zosia I was harsh on you today because I want you to take ownership for your actions, you do something, instead of feeling guilty and trying to fix it own up too it. If you want to be a bitch fine but at least take ownership," Jac watched as the CT1 in front of her looked down at the floor, "You don't get anywhere Zosia, by trying to fix everything after you've done it."

"He needed that stent," she whispered then folded her arms, "He died with people around him. I may have used him for my own advantage. To show you that I Dr March can be someone you can trust, but he had a better ending than what he would've done, had he not been given that stent, he would've spent his last day there," Zosia pointed to one of the beds and then turned around to Jac again, "Having to fight for his every breath."

"Thank you," Zosia was stunned by Jac's choice of word that came out, "Finally...that's all you've needed to do all day, admit that you were a bitch, that you chose your career over your friend. Arthur knew what kind of doctor you can be, he knew that you would choose work over him, and he accepted it. He didn't send Dom or Morven to get you, he let you be here. Arthur's gone Zosia, but you have to hand it to him...he let you choose this," Jac held her arms out wide then crossed them again, "Over him, now that's loyalty. You didn't need to be there holding his hand, watching him die because he knew that would hurt you more than it did finding out here. Dom may have Keller's answer to Baloo the Bear and Morven may have AAU's answer to a school headmistresss but I'm not Sacha nor am I Serena. I'm telling you now, this is what he would've wanted from you. You were there in his head, he slipped away knowing his two best friends were there for him. Dom physically but you would've been there in there," Jac used her index finger to point to her head.

"I can't go back there tonight," she whispered as she had recieved a text from Morven, _Dom wants to know are you at home tonight? xxx,_ "I can't," she placed her phone back in her pocket and tried to think of what to do.

"I have a spare room, you can sleep there for tonight, you can borrow a pair of my pyjamas as well and then you can decide what to do in the morning," Jac offered and Zosia turned around to face her she smiled, "Let me finish off here and then I'll drive us home."

"Ms Naylor," Jac stopped in her tracks as she heard her professional name and turned around, "Thank you."

* * *

Jac and Zosia were walking out of the entrace together when a familar deep voice turned up behind them, "Darling I'm sorry I couldn't be there earlier," Guy said to his daughter. Zosia smiled and allowed her dad to hug her, "Kocham cie Zoshie," Guy whispered and Zosia whispered it back, "Darling...why don't you come back to mine?"

"She's already with me," Jac jumped in, it sounded a bit more protective mother than she wanted it too, "Zosia go wait in the car," Jac gave Zosia her car keys and Zosia looked a bit puzzled, "Go and wait in the car please," Jac used the voice she normally saved for Emma and with a silent nod Zosia didn't argue. Jac waited until she was far away before turning back to Guy, "You saw us didn't you?" she queried.

"You looked like you had it under control," Guy answered he had seen them, but he had a slight feeling that if he intervened it wouldn't have ended well, Zosia would've tried to fight a hug from him but she didn't with Jac.

"So you watched as your daughter sobbed and you did nothing?" Jac raised an eyebrow and Guy folded his arms, "Wow and people say I'm bad."

"She wouldn't have wanted me...not at that moment, I know my own daughter," Guy's parental defence came out, he did that a lot when Zosia was younger and people questioned his loyalty to his daughter, or his ability to look after her, "I know she wouldn't have wanted me, Jac she's going to be fra-"

"Don't start with that crap. 'she's fragile', 'she's vunerable', Dr March is twenty nine years old, she can decide for herself whether she needs to be at work or not."

"You don't know her like I do, she'll hide behind a mask until she cracks. Don't let her go back to what she was two years ago," Guy sounded desperate, he was trying to be what he thought was a good dad.

"Go back to purring Guy, concerned father does not suit you," Jac pushed her bag up against her shoulder and then walked away fom Guy, when she entered the car she noticed Zosia was still on her phone.

"Why did you send me away?" Zosia asked whilst she put her phone into her coat pocket and faced the fiery consultant.

"Is thay any of your business?" Jac buckled herself up and then started the engine, Zosia carried on looking ahead since she didn't want to risk throwing up, she only got car sick when she already felt quite ill and she was at the moment feeling quite sick.

* * *

As Jac entered the penthouse appartment Zosia followed slowly behind, Jac slid off her heels and Zosia unzipped her boots, "Mummy!" Emma came running into the entrance. Emma stopped in her tracks when she noticed a new person in the house, "Mummy who's that?" Emma asked and she pointed to Zosia with her index finger, Jac scolded her pointing at the guest and Emma then toddled off to her play area.

"Aleska how much do I owe you?" Jac asked the babtsitter who she hired to look after Emma for about three eyes whilst Jac finished off at work, "Zosia can you get my bag?" Jac asked and Zosia took the bag off the coat hook then passed it to Jac, "That's seven times 15...£105...pop into the hospital tomorrow and I can give it to you then."

"Thanks," Aleska smiled then she grabbed her coat and bag, "Bye Emma," she waved, Emma ran up to her babysitter and hugged around the legs.

"Do Widzenia," Emma said and Jac arched her eyebrows confused, Aleska however looked rather shocked, Jac lifted Emma off the floor and put her onto her hip, "

"Do Widzenia," Zosia said, "Mam na Imię Zosia," Aleska was about to exit when she realised Zosia spoke her language, as the two got into a conversation Jac went into the kitchen, she strapped Emma into her booster seat and then two mugs out and one plastic cup, "Dobranoc," Zosia said as she shut the door and then sighed.

"Tea or coffee?" Jac called from the kitchen to Zosia, whilst the kettle boiled she filled Emma's pink Fun to Drink 270ml cup with water when she got no answer from Zosia, Jac held out five fingers to Emma, indicating she'd be five minutes, "Zosia?" Jac clicked her fingers hoping to get the young doctor's attention, the noise startled Zosia.

"Sorry...urmm what was the question?"

"Tea or coffee?" Jac repeated this time with a small hint of frustration, "I'm getting Emma ready for bed...so I need an answer before midnight," Jac waited as Zosia gathered her thoughts and she finally spoke.

"Tea...thank you."

* * *

Zosia had unstrapped Emma from her booster seat because she was getting fussy, now she was holding her and trying to get her to calm down, "Jac I'll take her into the living room," Zosia walked into the living room with Emma and found her play area, there was a box full of books, pull on along toys, a ride on plastic horse, puzzles and a few other toys only a toddler would like, "Emma do you want to read a book?" Zosia asked leant down to sit on the floor, she slid Emma onto her lap, Emma wriggled off and walked over to the book box, then pulled out Chicken Little, "Ahh good choice," Zosia took the book from the toddler and Emma sat back on Zosia's lap.

Jac walked in the living room and cleared her throat, she stood holding two mugs and tucked under her arm Emma's drink cup, "Emma I think it's time for you to get into your pyjamas don't you?"

* * *

Zosia got herself ready for bed; teeth cleaned and pyjamas on she sat on the bed in the spare room, she allowed a few tears whilst she was in private, though tears turned into floods and she curled herself up into the fetal position and cried. Jac was just stroking Emma's soft red hair to help send her off to sleep when she heard sobs, Jac waited until she heard Emma's heavy breathing and with a soft kiss she left the room. Jac waited a minute before going into the spare room, she didn't want to think she had heard Zosia cry and ran to her again, "Zosia?" Jac entered the room where she found the young woman shaking from crying, Jac said nothing but she walked over to Zosia and placed her hand on Zosia's arm then squeezed it. Jac stayed like that for as long as she needed too, Zosia eventually cried herself to sleep. Before Jac left she placed a fleece blanket over her and switched off the light.

 _'Goodnight Arthur'_ Zosia whispered in her sleep.


End file.
